Crash
by KevinMcKidding
Summary: "I thought you could cure my sadness. And you did, but you were more than a medicine - you were a drug. Simply an addiction to my happiness." Cristina came back after being informed of her mother's accident. But is that the only reason?
1. Chapter 1

_You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams._

It has been 2 years. On that Monday of March 31st, 2014 she left.

It wasn't warned. No good-byes.

It was just a simple note. A note that asked me to do the impossible; forget her, let her go.

The time that I was left alone, in the darkness, my one streak of light faded away, she was gone.

"We have a situation. 58 year old female, NVC attack in 160, BP 92, decreased bilateral and breathe sounds. Also suspecting 4 broken ribs and a fractured spine. She is bleeding heavily on her head." Said the paramedic as she dragged her in the hospital. The woman was soaked with blood and Kepner knew she had very little chance of survival.

"Wow. What happened?" Kepner asked as she got the chart over.

The paramedic looked at her and answered, "A nasty car crash. Car vs. Truck. Obviously the truck won. And this woman literally rolled off the highway."

Kepner made a frown as she hurriedly rushed the cart down to one of the ER s.

* * *

As they entered the room one of the nurse hold up a phone and asked April, "Dr. Kepner, should we page Dr. Hunt? It's a pretty big trauma."

Kepner shook her head. "Nah, it's fine. Let him have a rest. He has been working for 36 hours straight."

"How about Dr. Shepherd or Dr. Torres? They need to see the spinal fracture..." But before the nurse could continue, April got annoyed.

"Let me.. Let me just see the patient first. Okay?" Then one of her interns yelled,

"She's going through a traumatic arrest!"

Kepner screamed out, "Get me a crash cart!" She started as soon as she could.

"Charge to 100" Kepner yelled, "Clear!" As she said the body jumped along with the paddle.

"Charge to 150!" Kepner yelled again, but she wasn't enthusiatic. She knew by this time, there was no way they are getting her back. "Clear!" There was no pulse, it was just body shifting.

"One last time, charge to 200!" Kepner said. "Clear." As she already knew, the body didn't regain a pulse. Already knowing there isn't a chance to get back her alive, she left the paddle dangling and shook her head. "Traumatic arrest. Never regained a pulse. Time of death, 11:04."

She took out her gloves. "Call... um.. What was her name again?" She asked.

"Mrs. Rubinstein. Helen Rubenstein." One of the nurses answered.

"Call Mrs. Rubenstein's family and inform them."

* * *

Owen was lying on a bed in an on-call room.

After working 36 hour shift, he knew he needed to sleep. But the emotions were overwhelming him.

The bed he was laying on, was the bed that they first made love with her. After he chocked her in his sleep.

He smiled but he felt one drop of tear falling down his cheeks.

It has been 2 years, but he still missed her. His love toward her never faded away. People often say that time is cure but loosing the love of his life, was something that just couldn't be cured. It was a deep scar in his heart that would never, ever be healed.

He slowly closed his eyes, letting himself rest.

* * *

After a few moments later, his on-call room door burst open. Owen quickly opened his eyes and saw Kepner, she was panting.

"I'm sorry, did I miss your page?" Owen asked as he looked down on his pager. But instead of an answer, Kepner came into his room and closed the door. "Uh.. Excuse me...?" Owen asked as he gave her a look.

But before he could say anything else, Kepner sat on the ground and started crying. Not knowing what to do Owen panicked. "Dr. Kepner.. April.. Are you okay? What happened? Talk to me. Say something."

"I... I lost a patient today." She forced out the word as she cried. "I.. I.."

"It's okay. You are in trauma, and we know that not everybody makes there alive. Don't feel bad about yourself." He grabbed her hand and tried to get her up.

"NO!" She screamed as she struggled to get Owen away. "That's not the point. It's the patient that I lost..." Owen was surprised but was annoyed at the same time. I mean it's a patient, doctors usually go through this stage as an intern. Not when they are an attending.

"Dr. Kepner, we can't do this all day. Get out of this room and start saving other lives!" Owen shouted.

"No.. No.. Dr. Hunt your not getting it." She stood up. "The patient that I lost is.. She is.. Cristina's Mother."

A/N: Well I am not 150% sure about Cristina mother's name but this is what showed up on Wikipedia so sorry if I got that wrong. Hope you enjoyed the story and a review would really, really help. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

_Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. _

_You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. _

_When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. _

_They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. _

_Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful._

* * *

"Can I have Mrs. Rubenstein's chart please?" Shane asked as he looked at the dead woman with sympathy. "Poor woman right? One day, like any other day, she was driving and next thing you know, you are lying dead on an asphalt road."

The nurse ignored him as she handed him the chart. Shane gave her a quick smile and was off to the phone.

"What you doing?" Stephanie asked as she saw him walking down the hallway. She walked with him.

"Ah, nothing. Just the usual. One of Dr. Kepner's patient is dead so... I am going to call their families." Shane replied busy flipping through the chart.

"Awfully happy for somebody who is going to inform their love ones death." Stephanie frowned, finishing the apple that she had in her hand.

"Hm. I wonder if she is brain dead? Cause her blood type matches a patient that is waiting for a new..." Shane couldn't finish his sentence as she dropped the chart on Stephanie's foot.

She jumped, "What the hell?" She screamed as she held on to her foot. "What was that for?"

Without giving her an answer he picked up the chart and started running back to the front desk.

"Can I help..." Before the nurse could even finish the sentence Shane screamed out.

"Page Dr. Kepner! Or Dr. Grey! Dr. Hunt will be fine. Just please. Page somebody for an emergency!"

The nurse hesitated. "But your only suppose to page emergency when it is..."

"_NOW._" Shane replied.

* * *

"What the hell Shane. What I got was an emergency page." Meredith was panting in annoyance. "I can't believe I ran my ass off coming here. What do you want?!" She yelled.

"..." Shane just looked up at her not able to answer. "I... I.." Shane was holding up the chart.

Meredith rolled her eyes as she snatched the chart from his hand. "I swear if this isn't important, I will literally kill you." She looked over the charts "What the heck? Why did you page me? She is already dead. When a patient is dead, you are suppose to call their families, not a busy attending." That is when she saw the patient's emergency contact;

_Daughter: Cristina Yang (425-111-2222)_

* * *

"WHAT?!" Hunt screamed out. "Kepner, what the hell are you talking about? Cristina's mother?"

Kepner nodded while she was crying.

Owen could not believe this. He cannot believe the fact that Cristina's mother's dead body was laying on some ER room. "How do you know for sure? Huh? You don't. Don't conclude what you.."

"It was in her emergency contact. Meredith told me. And I.. I.." Kepner replied.

"Meredith?" He asked. "She knows? Who knows? How many people knows about this?"

Kepner was still crying. "I.. I.. I don't know.."

"Dr. Kepner." Owen called out her name as he closed his eyes. "DR. KEPNER!" He screamed out. She looked up. "Stand up. Get out of this room and call Dr. Yang."

"I...I can't.. I killed her.. I let her mother die." Kepner cried out.

"DR. KEPNER. As Dr. Hunt, your chief of surgery, I am _demanding _you to call and inform the patient's daughter." Owen tried to sound professional as possible, but how could he? It was Cristina's mother. Not just anybody, but her mother.

* * *

Meredith and Owen was sitting outside on the hospital's bench, waiting for Cristina to come. There was a silence between them, but they knew what each other was thinking.

Meredith let out a big sigh. "God Damnit." She swore under her breathe. "I am going to see her first time in 2 years, and the first thing that I have to tell her is that her mother is.. dead." She stood up walking back and forth. "GOD DAMNIT!" She yelled out in frustration.

Owen looked at Meredith being so anxious. "I've never seen her mother before." He said.

Meredith looked at him and finally sat down.

"I was married to her. I was married for god sakes. But never had I ever seen her mother, until now, which is a dead body laying on my ER room." He said in realization.

Meredith replied, "I've only seen her once... At Burke's wedding." She spat out without thinking.

"Burke? As in Cristina's ex-finance?" He asked in disbelief.

Meredith, just realizing she should have kept shut, just looked down at her feet.

"I don't even know who she is anymore." Owen sighed. "She never talked about her mother, nor Burke. I was the only one who told her everything... Did you know that she was willing to trade me for Teddy at one time? To her, I wasn't even worth saying good-bye before she left."

Meredith looked at him with sympathy. I mean Meredith was mad at Cristina for leaving her without a good-bye but she realized Owen was the one who should be mad. After all, they loved each other.

"I go on and tell everybody that she is the love of my life, but the truth is, I don't even know who her mother was." Owen said. "You know... you know what maddens me the most?!" His voice got louder as he stood up. "Even though, this woman doesn't give two shits about me, and even though it has been 2 years that she left me, I am still in love with her."

Meredith couldn't say anything. She saw the lust in his eyes

"Meredith.. _I can't stop loving her_." Owen said with tears forming in his luscious blue eyes.

* * *

_I thought you could cure my sadness._

_And you did but, you were more than a medicine, you were a drug._

_Simply an addiction for my happiness._

* * *

**A/N: You may think that it is going a little slow but I felt this chapter was necessary before Cristina enters the story. So hang on there! **

***Reviews/favorites/follows are very appreciated.***


	3. Chapter 3

"_I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence."_

* * *

"Where is she?" Cristina burst through the ER doors. Before anybody could say anything she was walking, or more like running, down the hallway.

Owen and Meredith followed down. "Cristina... I.." Owen tried to say something but he realized that he wasn't an important cause at this moment.

"Where is she?" She asked, not knowing where to go.

Meredith grabbed both of her hands. "Don't panic. Okay.. Breathe in.. Breathe out.." She instructed.

Cristina started breathing slowly but soon she asked again. "Where the hell is she?"

"She is in room 274." Meredith answered, realizing that this was the only way to keep her steady. "But Cristina you have to know that when she came in here in a severe..." Before she could finish Cristina was already running up the stairs.

* * *

"Mom?" Cristina looked at her mother that was connected to bunch of tubes and wires. There was no sense of life, just sounds of machines. Her mother looked pale and deathly, which made her look helpless.

In the room there was Derek, who was sitting on the chair beside her bed.

"Mom? Mom?" Cristina shook her mother. "I'm here. Cristina is here." Instead of crying she just kept shooking her. Then she pulled out a chair beside her bed and sat on a chair, holding her mother's hand.

Derek walked up behind her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Cristina, currently she is brain dead and..." Derek tried to say something but he couldn't finish.

"Shut up. Derek Shepherd, shut up!" Cristina screamed. "Stop acting like a doctor toward me. I know what is happening. And she is going to be in this state for several months and she is going to wake up, and everything will be normal" She was talking really fast. "She'll be fine. She's going to be fine." She murmured.

'She is in a state of shock.' Owen realized.

But Derek didn't step back. "I'm sorry Cristina, I know this is the hardest time for you, but she can't be in that ventilator for months. As your mother's doctor, it is my duty to inform that she signed the DNR and... And.. We have to plug her off..."

Cristina screamed out, "NO! NO! NO!"

"Derek!" This time, Meredith yelled, trying to sush him down.

Cristina suddenly stood up from the chair and pointed toward the door. "Derek, out. I'm done with your crap, get out of this room and do _not _come in unless I tell you to do so."

Derek was standing there, not knowing what to do, and Meredith dragged him out the door. "What was that for?!" Meredith screamed out. She was mad, and was disappointed that Derek tried to go technical with Cristina.

"I'm sorry Meredith, but somebody had to tell her!" Derek hollered back and looked at Meredith. "And you certainly didn't have the guts."

* * *

Cristina was sitting down holding her mom's hand, whispering to herself about something that Owen did not understand. Before he could say anything to her, Mrs. Rubinstein started coping.

"Oh god." Cristina said. "Owen, do something!" She yelled out.

"I.. I..." Owen hesitated; he knew that Helen signed the DNR and it was against hospital regulations to save her.

But then Cristina's tears started forming on her eyes and she held his hands and begged him. "Please... Owen... Please..."

Owen closed his eyes and pressed the button behind the patient's bed. "We need a crash cart here, NOW!" He screamed out.

One of the nurses came in with a crash cart but she was hesitating. "But sir, she already signed the DNR and we are not suppose..."

"Did you not hear me?!" He yelled back. "I'm the chief of this hospital, and I am the one who is giving you the orders, and if you want to keep your damn job, it is probably a hell of a good idea to start charging."

The nurse nodded and started charging. "Charge to 150!" Hunt yelled. "Clear!" The body was jumping as the paddle was pressed against the body.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?" Webber yelled out. "Do you want this hospital to close down? What if the board finds out about this?"

Hunt was sitting down at one of the chairs at the conference room. "I don't think I was thinking." He replied.

Webber sighed. "I know this is very personal to you Hunt. I understand. But when I gave you this job, as Chief of Surgery, I expected you to make the best choice for the hospital."

Owen didn't know what to say. So many things happened between these few days he just wished time had stopped for a moment. To let him think and sort things out.

"Hunt.. I just hope you figure out what is most important to you right now. Make wise decisions." Webber said as he exit the room.

* * *

Cristina was still sitting beside Helen, holding her hand tightly. Meredith, worried, was sitting in the corner of the room, observing.

Owen silently came up to the door giving Meredith a sign.

"Cristina, you should get something to eat." Meredith tried talking to her.

"I'm not hungry." Cristina replied coldly. There was no emotion in her words. She didn't even look at Meredith, she was concentrated at her mother.

"Come on Cristina, let's go grab something to eat." Owen suggested. "It won't hurt her, or you."

Cristina finally looked up and looked at Owen, then she looked at Meredith.

"I promise, I won't let anybody in this room." Meredith replied, letting Cristina let go of her mother's hand.

Owen smiled. "That's a good girl. Come here." He said as he lead her to the cafeteria.

* * *

"Do you want some bagels? Sandwich? Or muffins?" He asked her.

She was looking at the ground, not able to look at him straight in the eyes. "..Anything will be fine."

After getting her a turkey sandwich and some black coffee he went back to her seat.

"Still remember you favorite coffee" He said as he handed her the cup. "You said you like it cause it is pure, nothing else interfering with the taste."

Cristina nodded emotionlessly as she took a sip.

There was a silence between them that Owen could not bare. "..How was Boston?" He asked.

She looked up into his eyes. "...We don't have to do this." Cristina replied.

"Do what?" He asked, even though he knew what she was exactly going to say.

"Have small talks, pretending that I never left you without even saying good-bye, and try to act like my mom is perfectly fine." She replied as she chewed down her sandwich.

Owen was hurt, but all he gave was an awkward smile.

"...I'm sorry. I just..." Cristina said as she started crying. "I don't know what to do... Owen.. I just..."

He scoot his chair beside her and gave her a hug.

"Owen, I can't do this right now..." Cristina tried to struggle out as she was crying. "I can't... I can't.."

But he did not let her go.

He remembered how Cristina calmed him down by hugging him when he saw Beth.

"It's okay.. I am applying deep pressure in your sympathetic nervous system... Which will decrease your metabolic rate... You will more panic at first, and you will try to resist.. But eventually you will feel your pulse rate slow... It's okay... It's okay.. Your breathe will come easier." Owen whispered.

She stopped struggling inside his arms and let herself in. She started breathing steadily and just cried inside his big, warm, safe arms.

And for the very first time, in a very long time, she felt safe and secure, like she belonged in his arms.

* * *

"Where are you planning to stay tonight?" Meredith asked as the clock stroked 10.

Honestly, Cristina didn't know. She was never thought of that, she didn't have time; as soon as she heard that her mother was in an accident, she booked the first flight to Seattle without even thinking. "I.. I don't know. I'll just probably book a hotel or something." She replied.

"Uh, no your not." Owen said as he walked into the room. "I'm certainly not letting you stay some crappy, shady hotel."

"Our house is always open." Meredith gave a little smile, hoping that Cristina will approve.

"You have 2 constantly crying kids. You don't need another depressed big-baby in your house. Trust me." Cristina said.

Then Hunt, slowly said, "Well... You can stay at my place."

"I.. I really don't feel like staying inside a trailer." Cristina replied. Trying to make up lame excuses. As much as she wanted to sleep in his arms, feeling protected, she knew it was selfish, after ditching him without a proper good-bye, and especially when her mother is dying.

"I don't live in the trailer anymore." He explained. "I rent an apartment. It's warm and cozy." He tried to smile.

"Go with Owen." Meredith gave a smile. "At least you'll get some sleep there."

* * *

"This really isn't necessary." Cristina said. "I'm really fine with sleeping on the couch. Seriously."

But Owen ignored her and got himself a pillow and a blanket to put on the couch. "No, Cristina, you will sleep in the bedroom."

"No, seriously, I feel more comfortable in the.." Before Cristina could finish Owen replied,

"Cristina." He called her name and gave him the eyes. Which she could not resist, even after all these years.

She sighed. "Okay fine. But I am telling you, you are not making me anymore comfortable."

He smiled as he saw her going into the bedroom. "Good night." He yelled out as the light went off.

* * *

_Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could._

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading another chapter (: And please, _please_, leave reviews if you like me to continue the story and favorite/follow the story if you want to catch up with the new chapters.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. _

_There is a time for silence. _

_A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. _

_And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over. _

* * *

"Okay, make sure you don't spend the whole day in the hospital again. Get enough sleep and you have to eat your 3 meals. Okay?" Owen assured her one more time as he was putting his tie on.

Cristina replied. "Come on Owen, I'm not a complete idiot. You don't have to baby me."

He walked out of the dresser and looked at her. "Promise me."

"Are you serious?" She said looking at him with disbelief. He looked back at her without saying anything. "Fine. Whatever." She replied, not able to look at him right through his piercing, yet warm blue eyes.

* * *

"Making her breathe through a ventilator doesn't make her much alive than she is dead." Derek came into the room without a knock.

Cristina sighed. "Derek, either shut up or get the hell out of this room. Your not welcomed."

But Derek walked into the room and leaned onto the walls, his hands were inside his pockets. "But seriously, you and I know that..."

"SHUT UP!" Cristina yelled out. And stood up from her chair. "Shut up about it, I am done with your crap, and I hope you realize that your opinion here, does not matter. You really.."

Before she could finish her sentence Shepherd yelled louder. "I know. I know what you are going through, and I know how you feel." He walked up to her and grabbed her shoulder. "Cristina, I know. I've been through this, and even though it doesn't seem like it, I am trying to save you from what you are about to do to yourself."

Cristina stood there in shock, not knowing what to say. As we all know, Derek and Cristina usually don't get along. They always have different opinions toward Meredith and Shepherd was never a friendly-boyfriend type.

"I am not letting you go through things that I went through." Derek replied as he hugged her. "I don't want to see you damaged." Cristina, not knowing what to do, decided to stay shut.

* * *

Cristina and Derek was sitting on a bench that was in front of the hospital. They were both sipping on their coffee as a sense of silence went through.

"My dad died when I was really young. He was shot." Derek said, breaking the silence. Cristina looked at him with her eyes wide.

"It's actually a really funny story." Derek continued, giving meaningless laughs. "I was at my dad's shop, with my little sister, Amelia. And then these two guys came with a black mask on, and we were giggling under his counter because, you know, at that age, it seemed like they were wearing a costume. But then, these two guys took out a gun and, started screaming, and aimed the gun at my dad. Under the counter, Amelia started crying but I covered up her mouth and tried to shut her up. Soon, I saw him putting all the stuff in a black bag and handed to them. Well, for me it was a shocker, because I've only seen these in cartoons, you know? I think... I think I really didn't know if this was happening to me. It seemed like... all a dream." Derek went on. "And then, this one guy, demanded him for the watch. The watch that my mom bought him by working her ass off. And romantic guy as my dad was, he didn't give it up. Then, BAM!, there was a sound that went off and my dad, was lying on the floor, with blood all over. I covered Amelia's eyes so she couldn't see him, you know; dead. And that day, my clothes were soaked with his blood." Then suddenly Derek stood up. "Because of the damn watch. He couldn't have given up the damn watch. That was why he died. So basically, he traded his life for the watch." After finishing his story, he started laughing.

Cristina looked at him with her weird look. She knew this was a state of shock, and she also realized that Derek never recovered from this loss.

"I'm sorry, it's just.. Just think about it Cristina, a man willing to give up his life for a damn watch. It's like.. It's like a perfect plot for a romantic tragedy, don't you think?" Derek sat back down.

Cristina stood up. "Derek, I think I am going..."

"No, no that's not the end." Derek stopped her. "So after the ambulance came, they took my dad and me and my sister to the hospital. I asked one of the guys in the ambulance if he was going to be okay. And guess what they said?; "Yes. He is going to be fine." And naive as I was, I believed them. What a liar right?"

Cristina slowly sat back down, realizing he needed somebody to listen to him.

"Then those few days were a buzz, my mom was crying, my sisters were crying and I was just sitting there; I really don't know what I was thinking – I probably wasn't thinking. Then this doctor came in with his fancy chart and he was talking to my mom, who started crying more hysterically. And by that time, I thought he was dead. But that doctor lead us to this room and there was dad, or a physical form that looked like my dad. It was bunch of wires and tubes all around him; I honestly couldn't even see who it was. And Amelia started crying because she was scared, she thought it was some monster or something." He continued. "And after a few days the doctor came back and they were talking about something with a really serious face. I knew I wasn't suppose to listen but I leaned toward the door and I heard something about tubes, brain dead and plugging him off. Of course, at that age, I had no idea what that meant, but I knew it wasn't something good because they were having those serious, adult faces. And after that, they took out a weird looking tube out of his throat and the machine started beeping and there was a green line.. No heartbeat."

He looked at the sky for the moment and turned to Yang. "You will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss. But this is also the good news; they live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." He looked at her with his soothing, green emerald eyes. "After time passed, I asked her why she plugged him off. And she told me that making him live through those tubes were like trying to keep him alive when he is dead. It is a sense of denial and that will not get us anywhere. And because my mother loved my father so much, she knew being selfish; letting him live through that, was not something he will want. Peaceful death, it was the last present that my mother gave."

* * *

After the talk session with Derek, Cristina just decided to sit beside her mother, trying to decide what she should do. Then, her phone started ringing.

"Hello, is this Dr. Yang that I am talking to?" A familiar man's voice came through the phone as she picked it up.

"Yes, can I help you?" She asked.

"This is Massachusetts General Hospital, and I am Dr. Sampson, chief of surgery." The guy said.

"Oh yes, Dr. Sampson. I am so sorry for not telling you that I will be staying here for a while, my mother... She has been in an accident, but I am sure that I will come back at least before..." Cristina replied as she walked out of the room.

"No needs." He informed. "You are no longer in service for us."

"..." Cristina didn't answer. "Wait, I'm fired?"

"Well.. Yes." He said.

Cristina couldn't believe what he had just told her; award winning, #1 cardiothoracic surgeon, who was the head of the cardiothoracic department of the hospital, was just fired.

"What the hell? Why?!" She screamed. "Do you have any idea how much effort I put in your hospital, all the researches and profits that I brought you?"

"Well, in Boston, over the few days we have been having budget problems and we had to eliminate some people who weren't efficiently doing the job and you..." He went on.

"My mother is dying, for god sakes!" She screamed and everybody looked at her.

"I am very, very sorry for your loss but we can't do anything here. But we will give you 2 months to find a new job and.." Before he could finish his sentence Cristina hung up the phone and went back into the room.

* * *

As Meredith finished her shift and was walking out the door with Derek, Cristina walked up to her.

"You up for Joes today?" She asked.

Meredith looked at Derek and he gave her a smile, giving her an approval. Meredith smiled back and answered, "I'm always up for tequila shots."

"So today, I found this giant mass down on the guy's liver and it was a size of a base ball! And the funny thing is, he didn't even know he had one, never felt the pain, until today morning. I mean.. You know how freaky that is? Living with cancer and not even knowing that..." Meredith stopped talking as she saw Cristina zoning out. "...Are you okay?"

Cristina looked at Meredith. "Well, your husband gave me a big lecture about life." She laughed. "... And I got fired." She quietly whispered.

"YOU GOT WHAT?!" Meredith screamed out and everybody stared at her. She looked around and whispered, "you got fired?"

Cristina nodded. "Surprise." She replied, finishing another bottle of beer.

Meredith couldn't say anything since she knew how important work was for Cristina – she practically gave up her life, Owen, and herself to move and start a new 'happy' life.

"Another shot of tequila please." Meredith ordered.

Cristina looked at her and tears started welling up on her eyes. "Meredith. I screwed up really bad... I... I really don't know what to do."

Meredith came up to her and gave her a hug. Even though they didn't say anything, they knew what each other was thinking.

* * *

Owen slowly opened his eyes as he felt a strong pressure on his chest; it was Cristina, she was lying on top of him and staring at his eyes. "Uh.. Cristina." He said, a little surprised. He certainly was happy to see her but wasn't expecting her. "What.. Are you okay? I thought you were staying at Meredith's" He asked. She nodded. He smelled a strong sense of alcohol from her clothe and her hair. "Have you been drinking?" He asked. She nodded again. As much as he missed her soft hands on his body, he couldn't help but to ask. "What..?"

"Shhh." She shushed him. She stared into his eyes and smiled. "I.. I always thought your eyes were so pretty. It's so mesmerizing... It makes me calm. It's soothing." He lied back down, resting his head as she rest her head on his chest. She was listening to his heart beat.

"Owen?" She asked.

"Yes, Cristina?"

"Nothing," she replied, placing her hand on his heart. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

He smiled softly. He missed this so much. The touch of her, the curls of her hair and.. Just her.

"Owen?" She called for him again.

"Hm?" Owen answered again.

"I.. I'm letting my mom go."

* * *

_The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected._

_Maybe they always have been and will be. _

_Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. _

_And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. _

_That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come._

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**A/N: Yeah... Intense chapter, right? Seriously thank you for all the reviews; its the only thing that keeps me going.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I'm trying to figure out a good story line, so I would appreciate if you could wait a little (: Thank you for your patience.


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